Blind regrets
by TheHowlingInYourSoul
Summary: "But you can't see me." I don't have to, I already know you." A blind girl brings uprisings and chaos to the New Directions, bringing many questions and few answers. F/F, Diff pairing...Rachel/OC with jealous/Quinn
1. Beginnings

_**Hello my readers. Welcome to a new plot bunny! I hope I can continue this story, so any ideas are welcome. Enjoy, and leave me a review and/or hate mail, either way hit me up!**_

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The problem with being blind, aside from the obvious, is the fact that you can't take anything at face value. You always have to over-analyze, because you can't see peoples expressions, or their body language. The upside to that, however, is that people can almost never control their voices. They can't keep the emotion out of their voice without an extreme amount of control, and that is exactly how I have survived so far. Unfortunately, it seems I won't for very much longer.

My mother has already expressed her sincerest regrets at uprooting us and moving somewhere new. Somewhere strange, foreign. Lima, Ohio is our destination. A small town, whereas we were in the city of Springfield, Illinois. Lima is a small town, I was told. Small and conservative. My mothers' way of saying I should hide who I am, yet again. I sigh and think that my mother has just simply gone off her rocker and into the sea of insanity with this decision. The fact that her job basically holds all the "charity" they've given us over our heads to get us to move was, ultimately, the deciding factor. Without this job, my mom would have hospital bills to the moon and back, with no way to pay for them. Not to mention all the accessories we got to help with my condition. A plan-free paid for voice activated phone, synced to my voice only. Hearing aids that help _improve _my hearing so I can travel around without getting hurt or lost.

Yes all these things were given as a sign of trust and gratitude to her years of service. Or so the company told the reporters.

The car pulls to a stop while I'm stuck in my head, and I grunt when my mom asks if I need help. I clamber out of the car and place my feet on concrete. I shut the door, then wait as the robotic voice from the hearing aids tells me what's directly in front of me. Its high tech and annoying, but has allowed me to adjust well to crowds and busy places.

"It looks wonderful. They really out-did themselves with this place." My mom says, a tad too joyfully to be believable. She grabs my hand and leads me inside, and begins to describe it to me once we enter. I turn off the aids, because it's saying the exact same things in my ear. I listen to my mom go on for a little bit, then the U-haul guys come in and she starts telling them where to put things. I turn the aids back on and go up the stairs. _You would think they would be a little more mindful of the fact that I actually AM blind, assholes,_ I think frustratingly. There's a bathroom down a long hall, and two bedrooms on each side. The master is on the right, so I choose the left one and wait for the muscle guys to bring my stuff in.

For the next five hours, we get situated in our new house. My room is done by the end of the day, the only thing aside from a bed are my black nightstand, a desk in the corner, and two bookshelves on the far wall. The first bookshelf is full of regular books, while the second is half full of books translated into braille. I know downstairs is a box full of audio books waiting to be unpacked, but I bypass said box and go to the kitchen, where my mom made me a sandwich. She talks about the positive things that the move will have given us, but to be honest I just tuned her out. When she asked if I was okay, I just say tired and go back upstairs to my new bedroom and lay on the bed for a good two hours before sleep finally claims me.

The next two weeks go by in a blur. It's a flurry of unpacking, appointment making, and work plans for my mom. Currently, a week before the high school starts, we are sitting in the principal's office, and my mom is negotiating with the man behind the desk.

"I am sorry Ms. Shawn, but I don't quite understand why your daughter has to be in public school. There are plenty of certified home-schooling teachers we could contact for you." The man, Mr. Figgins, says.

My mom's voice quietens, but I've heard her say it already so much that her statement doesn't even gain recognition from me.

"My daughter has already given up too much. She has already been ostracized because of her condition, and if she were to go to school, like a normal student, would lessen the effect of her peers certain reaction."

"She is not normal, Ms. Shawn. Forgive me, but it is the truth. I can't watch her like a hawk all day just to see if she gets around. And what of her classes? Surely studying and notetaking will be near impossible-"

"That is already covered. We have the proper documentation for her to be allowed certain required technologies to cover for her being impaired." There is rustling as she pulls out the papers. I decide this is the time I should speak up.

"I can take care of myself. I have lived with this for years, and I lived in a far larger town than this one. I was able to navigate the city just fine, I'm sure I can handle a few new hallways."

The man sighs, then reluctantly relents. "You must understand, that I nor the school is responsible for any type of accident or injury that the staff did not cause. She is on her own, and outside of certain grievances she is going to be treated as a regular student."

"We understand completely, thank you sir."

I didn't think that possibly I had pushed too much for this, that I might be making a huge mistake by pursuing a public high school career till we were back to our new home.


	2. Brunette Spitfire

You all must be highly confused as to how a blind girl would be able to navigate, even with high-tech gear to assist her. You know how they say that when you lose one sense, the others get heightened just a wee bit? Well, that wasn't entirely true for me. It was more like _one _sense was heightened. Humans use barely 3% of their brain power. If we could expand that brainpower, super powers wouldn't just be fiction anymore. I am living proof that that is possible. I have a heightened "sense", of telepathy. I use other's thoughts to navigate and "see" where everyone is at. I try to avoid reading any of their personal thoughts, only things related to where they are in my path. So, when we arrived at the front doors of William McKinley High School, I wasn't too intimidated by the size of the school. My old high school in Springfield had twice as many students. A gave a mumbled goodbye to my mom and stepped out of the car, the aids buzzing in my ears. I felt several hundred eyes turn to me, and I ducked my head to hide behind my long blonde hair.

"_Wow I didn't know we would get a new kid."_

"_Who is she?"_

"_She looks like those Glee idiots."_

_Glee? I wonder what that is._ Despite the constant barrage of silent questions about me, I made my way into the building safely. Now would come the hard part, I had to find someone who could get me to my locker without asking a ton of questions. I scanned, lightly, the thoughts of students around me and found a short brunette that was speed-walking towards me. I picked out her footsteps from the crowd, and I could tell she definitely had a purpose in mind for where she was going.

She stopped right in front of me and planted her feet.

"Hello fellow learner! My name is Rachel Berry, and I'm on the William McKinley High greeting committee for new students! You must be-"

"You are quite loud ya know that?" I gave her a smile and a chuckle, and extended my left hand. "Yes, my name is Erin Shawn."

"Oh. Well yes I have a big voice and my excitement usually extends to my speaking voice as well. Is there anything I could help you with?" She lowered her voice and leaned closer to me. "I was told of your condition, and I could show you to your locker and most of your classes, since we both take honors classes."

I grinned. I could tell she was a little spitfire and a friendly person.

"I would greatly appreciate that, actually. I did notice that the lockers don't have braille on them, so I wouldn't have been able to find mine."

I heard a squeal, and then she was clapping. _Wow, people must not take her up on her offers of help that often._

"Ok so what is your locker number?"

I glanced down to the paper I was holding, and then grazed my fingers over the top portion, where the numbers were supposed to be.

"Um, C175."

"That's wonderful! Mine is two down from yours, and you have a top locker. Come on, we don't want to be late." When she was done she grabbed my hand and started to walk down the hall. For someone so short she sure could move her feet. I was being half dragged, half yanked down the hallway. We turned a corner to the left, and then went down a ways before she stopped so suddenly that I ran into her. Something cold and sticky slapped my chin, and I gasped. I heard laughing and some guys cheering while they walked down the hall. Confused, I quickly scanned over Rachel's thoughts to figure out hat happened.

"_Not again. I just got this sweater! Cherry? Why did they have to use cherry? At least the grape tastes like actual grape and not just corn syrup."_

Still slightly confused, I turned her around and ran my hand down the side of her face lightly, catching more of the cold sticky liquid.

"Rach? What did they throw at you?" She sputtered a little bit, and I felt her cheek warm up beneath my hand.

"They-Oh my God they got it all over you too! Come on let me get you cleaned up." She grabbed my hand again, but instead of dragging me, she just led me to what I assumed was an empty bathroom.

"Here, I'll clean this off." I heard the sink running, and then a cold paper towel to my chin. Confused as to why this kind girl would get something thrown at her face, I didn't realize that she had started cleaning me off before she cleaned herself.

"Hold up Rach, I got this. Clean yourself, you got the brunt of it." I grabbed the paper towel out of her hand gently, and started wiping my neck and the top of my shirt. I heard her giggle before the water was running again. I smirked over at her.

"What's so funny?"

Another giggle and the water stopped.

"You missed a spot on your neck silly." A wet towel touched the underside of my jaw, and she slowly cleaned it off. I judged roughly where her eyes were, and leaned my head down a little because of the height difference. I found a clean part of the towel that was in my hand, and then reached up carefully to start wiping her cheek. She gasped lightly, and I could feel her blush through the towel. I smiled at her, one of the genuine ones that I usually reserved for my best friend back home. I felt her head bend down, and I was about to just give the adorable brunette a hug when the door burst open. I jumped a little at the unexpected intrusion, and felt Rachel jump away from me. The thoughts that wafted across the unknown girls mind contradicted to what she said to Rachel.

"I saw you walking down the halls hand in hand with the new girl Man-hands. I always knew you were lesbigay."

"_Why was she holding her hand? And what happened to her and Finn?"_

"That is none of your concern Quinn."

So her name is Quinn eh? Is she the one that threw the drink at Rachel earlier?

I heard movement, and then realized Quinn was directly in front of me, facing Rachel.

"Everything is my _concern_, Treasure-trail. Keep that in mind before I send Karofsky back with another cherry flavored present." She turned toward me, her voice haughty as she spoke. "You might want to pick who you hang out with better, or you'll be stuck at the bottom with her and the other losers." She stalked off something slapping my thigh as she turned. I frowned, then turned to the now quiet Rachel.

"Who was that?" I asked, entirely uncomfortable with the way she was treated.

"That was the head cheerleader, Quinn Fabray. She takes pleasure in torturing the people at the bottom of the totem pole."

"Why are you at the bottom?" She waited a minute before answering, and took a deep breath.

"I am at the bottom because I am a part of the Glee club, I'm not on the cheer squad, or the football team, or any other popular and cliché sport in this high school."

"That is entirely stupid and closed-minded. It's the 21st century people, not the 80's." I grumbled, completely thrown that there were schools that still had this kind of popularity system. Rachel was quiet for a long time, before giggling. Soon after she was laughing one of those belly laughs that you just can't stop. I stood there, wondering what the hell was so funny.

"Why are you laughing?"

She giggled some more before answering. "Because that is the first time anyone has ever paid any attention to how wrong the hierarchy is at this school, aside from me and my fathers."

I frowned again, before something she said caught my attention. "Fathers? As in more than one?"

She gulped audibly, and then sighed. "Yes, as in more than one. I have two gay fathers." She held her breath after, as if I was going to bash her or her fathers. Considering the town atmosphere though, I could understand her hesitancy. I let her wait a couple seconds, before I broke into a grin.

"That's awesome. I won't be the only gay one in town then."

"I-wha-wait what?"

I chuckled. "Did I just render the Rachel Berry speechless?" I earned myself a smack on the arm before she started laughing at me. She cleaned herself the rest of the way up, then grabbed my hand and led me out of the classroom. She stopped a couple steps later though, and turned to me.

"Is it ok for me to hold your hand? I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything so-" she whispered.

I grinned again and shushed her. "No Rachel, it doesn't make me uncomfortable. And yes, you can hold my hand if you want." I just smiled as she shuffled her feet, and then the warning bell rang.

She gasped, and then started her power-walk-dragging again. "Come on! We'll be late!"

As it happened, we were not late, and she coerced our History teacher to give us seats next to each other. The other students whispered when we walked in, and I easily ignored their questioning thoughts that buzzed in my mind. Rachel's thoughts, however, were harder to ignore. She was loud and ranted even in her thoughts, and I really had to focus on what the teacher was saying to keep myself from delving further and listening in. My curiosity was killing me though, since I heard my name multiple times, and I could feel her eyes on me. I pushed ahead and listened to the requirements and expectations of the class, ignoring the searching eyes and mind that were glued to me.


	3. Mountains and Molehills

_**Guys I have been overwhelmed by the response to this story!1 You have o idea how flattering it is that all of you seem to like it so much! I apologize for my majorly long absence, life gets in the way sometimes. But, I give you the next installment, hot off the press!**_

Rachel guided me to my next three classes, all of which we had together. I had a feeling Figgins had engineered that. When our fourth hour ended, Rachel led me to our lockers so I could drop off the books they had already decided to sentence us with. She keyed in my combination, all the while ranting about the schools lack of compensation for the "handicapped." Earlier I had explained to her that I was cool with the terms broadly used for my inconvenience. She seemed like the type to worry about that kind of stuff.

"...and then Artie only has one accessible ramp on the whole campus-"

"Who's Artie?" I interrupted, partially afraid she would forget to breathe.

"Oh, he's one of the Glee members, he's restricted to a wheelchair."

I took the chance to ask about this "Glee club". The whole day I would hear thoughts about them from either Rachel or a classmate, the latter not so nice to listen to.

"What's Glee club?" I heard the sharp intake of breath, fully prepared to sit through another long-winded explanation, when she was interrupted before she could speak.

"Hey Rach. Who's this?" The voice was rough, but had a whiny undertone and came from about half a foot above our heads. I turned in their general direction, and gave a small wave.

"I'm Erin. Nice to meet you...?" Whoever it was didn't respond, and I had the feeling they didn't understand the question at the end of my greeting. Instead, Rachel spoke up in a quiet voice next to me. I immediately knew I didn't like the change in the loudly opinionated brunette.

"Erin, this is Finn. He's the quarterback and also in Glee."

I nodded, then held my hand out in front of him. When he shook it, his hand engulfed mine. I almost thought I'd lost it in Narnia until he let go.

"Anyway, I came over to ask if you wanted to hang out and practice for Glee after school sometime. My voice got rusty over summer break." I imagined a possible charming smile adorning his face, but seeing as I didn't like this mountain of a boy causing the change in her demeanor, I answered him.

"Actually, Rachel is going to show me around Lima this week, so she's going to be a little busy. We may be able to fit you in later?" I gave this outright rude remark with an ice smile, then shoved my books in my locker, looped my arm around Rachels', and turned away from the huge boy and walked down the hall.

Rachel remained quiet, and once we were far enough away, she took my hand and started leading me somewhere. Once we reached a door, she pushed it open and ushered me through. The door closed with a bang that echoed around the large room.

"This is the auditorium, I always have lunch here. It's much more preferable to the cafeteria." She took my hand again and led me to the stage, where I jumped and sat with my legs dangling down. I heard her sit next to me, and the temptation to read her thoughts was overwhelming, just to find out what was wrong, but I didn't dare. That would be the biggest breach of the trust she seemed to already have in me. So I sat and waited, waited for her to tell me like I knew she would. It didn't take long.

"Finn is my ex-boyfriend. We dated at the end of the school year last year, then he cheated on me with one of the Cheerios."

I remembered then the thought that went through Quinn Fabray's head this morning, and one of the puzzle pieces of Rachel Berry fell into place. She was insecure and unsure about Finn, understandably. I turned so that one leg was on the stage, the other still dangling. I scooted closer to her, then reached out and brushed her shoulder. When I felt her trembling, I grabbed her and pulled her against me, holding her as she shook with silent tears. I just held my arms around her while she cried, letting the steady beat of my heart, which was just under her left ear, slowly calm her down. I knew it worked because back when I had my accident, my mom would hold me like this and her heart is what finally stopped my tears with its endless beat. After a few minutes, the shaking finally stopped. I didn't let her go, knowing that if I did the tears would start again.

She mumbled something into my shirt, but it was too soft for even my ears to catch.

"What was that?" I didn't raise my voice above a whisper, not wanting to break the atmosphere.

"Thank you. I thought I was over him." She pulled back and sat up. "This is foolish and immature of me, crying like a little girl over something so-"

I stopped her with my hands and my voice. My hands went around her face, finding it almost entirely by chance without accidentally stabbing her in the eye.

"Look at me. You are not immature, foolish, and you're allowed to be a little girl sometimes. He hurt you, its not a crime to cry and hurt over him. Just cry as much as you need to, but then get up and move on to the amazing things I know you'll accomplish in life. This isn't the end Rachel, you're bound for _so _much more." I felt more tears drip on my hands, but I guessed they were happy tears, because I was flung on my back on the stage and wrapped in a tight hug. I smiled and hugged just as tightly, happy that the Rachel I was starting to get attached to had come back.

"So what's this Glee club about hmm?" I asked her, the question popping back into the forefront of my mind.

"Oh, Glee is the show choir club here. It's not very popular, even though the most popular kids in school are a part of it."

Still confused, I ask "Show choir? How is that different from like regular choir?"

"Show choir is more performance, whereas choir is just singing and the theory of it. We dance and sing, putting on a "show" for the audience. But our glee club is more than that. We're all outsiders in our own right, and Glee is a place to be ourselves without any judgement, without the threat of slushies and bullying. Glee is our place of acceptance."

I hummed after she stopped talking, processing the information. I knew their "acceptance" rule would be seriously stretched if they knew my dark past, but they didn't have to know about that. Singing, with training, I could handle. But dancing? Of course I had the aids, but I couldn't have them buzzing in my ears and hear myself sing at the same time. But she did say that the other handicapped kid at our school was in it, and if he could dance in a wheelchair, I could manage it. I would, just to get Rachel to be happy, and to be around her more. Ignoring the slightly selfish reason, I asked my next question.

"So how does one join Glee?"

"Well, you would have to audition, but Mr Schue - the teacher - has the rule of anyone who auditions gets in, no matter how bad they sound. Why do you want to know?"

I chuckled at her question - and just at her adorableness in general - and then gave her a smirk.

"Well ya know, I was gonna see if I could join, but if you don't want me to..." Secretly I was anxiously awaiting her opinion, it suddenly meant more to me than I thought.

"Of course I do!" She nearly shouted with excitement, but then coughed to cover her embarassment. "But wouldn't that be dangerous? I mean you wouldn't be able to see the choreography or read sheet music..."

"Rach, sheet music can be translated to braille. And I have these hearing aids-" I lightly tapped my ear, "-that tell me where people are and which way they move. So I could get the gist of the moves, but I'd need someone super dedicated and awesome to teach me the finer parts." I grinned for a minute, then continued. "Now, where could I find someone like that?" She was quiet, then went into a fit of giggles. I laughed, then attacked her sides, tickling her until she gasped out an "I'll do it!"

I just kept smiling, my cheeks starting to hurt from the lack of using the muscles in so long. It felt good to laugh, to relax and not worry about other people for once. And I truly wanted to try out this Glee thing, if it was so important to Rachel, it would only be awesome. Or so the logic in my head went. The day had been an amazing first day, even if the slushy and run in with the Mountain seemed to darken it for a bit. Lima was definitely going to be interesting.


End file.
